Proposal Tips For The Groom

Feature Photo Courtesy of Nate and Katherine Haruch

 

Most of the time the actual wedding plans are determined by the bride. BUT, the marriage proposal is the groom’s time to shine! Asking a woman to spend her life with you can be scary, but if you follow these tips, you’ll feel more confident and composed when the time comes. 

Here’s some sure-fire tips for creating the perfect proposal: 

 

Knowing When You’re Ready

Feeling “ready†is personal  and can be different for each couple , but you should at least be on the same page about your next chapter together. To put it simply, the proposal should be a surprise, but the marriage should not. You should talk together about your vision for where your relationship is headed before getting too far down a path without your partner’s go-ahead. 

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Josh and Ellie Kewene-Hite

 

Asking for Her Family’s Blessing

The tradition of asking a bride’s father for her hand in marriage can be seen as archaic and outdated, but it is also very traditional and respectful. Even if you’re not negotiating on a dowry like in the past, it’s still comforting for the bride’s family to know you intend to take care of her. If the bride doesn’t have a good relationship with her father or he’s not in the picture, it can also be a conversation you have with her mother or brother. For some women, this is very important; for others, they would prefer you not have this conversation. Perhaps once you get serious you should ask her if it’s important to her. On another note, this conversation can also be a good time to invite her family to be part of the proposal IF she wants them included! 

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Josh and Alyssa Nelson

 

 

Picking the Perfect Ring

If you’re planning on getting married soon, usually a few months before the wedding is a good time to start looking at rings. Depending on what you prefer for your relationship, some women like to know the details of their ring (the style, diamond details, etc) before they see it for the first time. Other women dream of being totally surprised the first time they see the ring. There are lots of good resources for choosing a ring for your future spouse, like bringing along her friends, checking her pinterest, or having her send you a few photos for inspiration. Once you have an idea in mind, a trained ring specialist can help sort out all the details. A couple things to consider when picking a ring before your proposal are your timeline, design, and budget. 

 

If you’re using a family ring to propose, make sure to get it cleaned,polished, and sized before the big proposal! If it’s a ring that’s been held in a safe spot or one of a mother’s or grandmothers, it can probably use a quick shine so it will blow her away when you see it! Our team at Wilson Diamonds offers an array of affordable Goldsmithing options for making sure your family heirloom is looking perfect! For questions about stone setting, stone replacement, resizings, polishing, rhodium plating, or cleanings, visit our website or give us a call!

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Alice Shoots Peopleâ„¢

 

Designing the Dream Proposal

Most women have an idea of what the perfect proposal looks like to her, but many women may not come right out and say it to you. This is possibly one of the first tests of how well you know your future spouse, and it’s also good practice for crucial conversations in a relationship. We’ve curated a handy list of questions you’ll want to know before you get down on one knee: 

 

-Does she want it to be a surprise? Some women like to live in the moment and enjoy spontaneous things, some women hate the idea of being caught off guard. Make sure you know her preference so she’s not uncomfortable.

 

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Aidan and Madison Swainston

 

-Does she want it to be public or private? Just like our last tip, some women like to have  big grand romantic gestures, others prefer smaller intimate moments. Is a Disneyland proposal more dreamy or dreadful for her? Does the thought of strangers clapping and cheering make her excited or embarrassed? 

 

-Does she want her family there? Without getting too much into family drama, this one can be said pretty simply. If she doesn’t want her whole family there, are there one or two siblings she wants there? Just parents? A close cousin or a grandparent? In addition, how would she feel about YOUR family being there as well? If she’d prefer they not be there for the big moment, does she want to meet up for dinner or a party afterward? 

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Josh and Sydney Buckner

 

-Does she want to be dressed up? If you plan on proposing on top of a cliff after a long hike, would she be appalled to get engaged in tennis shoes and a baseball cap? Also, will she be suspicious when you show up for a hike wearing a suit and tie? Does she care about having her nails painted when you propose? Even if she’s not the type of girl who NORMALLY has a manicure, is she going to want to make an exception if everyone is looking at her hands? If you don’t want to come right out and ask her, have a close friend or sister of hers ask. If she knows it’s coming up, she won’t think it’s weird if someone asks her. And even if she normally doesn’t care what her clothes or makeup look like, don’t assume she won’t want to dress up for this special occasion.

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Alice Shoots Peopleâ„¢

 

-Does she want her proposal photographed? Some women tend to cry when they get really excited, will she be embarrassed to have photos of her crying during your proposal? In addition, unless you set up a camera beforehand, having your proposal photographed also means another person there. If she said she wants the proposal to be private, perhaps ask her if that includes a photographer or not. If you’ve already booked a photographer for wedding coverage, reach out and ask if they include proposal photos as well. Some of our favorite photographers, like Alice Shoots People, offer complimentary proposal footage with wedding day packages as well. 

 

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Parker and Jaylin Christensen

 

Selecting a Special Location

Once you’ve gotten all the details sorted for what she is hoping for, it’s time to put it into action! This means scouting a location, contacting the photographer (who can also maybe even help with backdrops or lighting) inviting family and friends, maybe having her friends take her out for a shopping trip or a spa day, and putting all the details into play. Maybe map out what you’re hoping the set up will look like including balloons or candles. Make a dinner reservation if that will be part of the evening. (If you tell the restaurant it’s a special night, they may even be able to offer you the best possible table or a trail of rose petals. If nothing else, they may offer a complimentary dessert.) You could even hire a string quartet if that’s your kind of thing! The key is to make it your own and make it meaningful for both of you. Is there a special location you share in your relationship? That’s probably worth considering. 

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Derek Matheson and Delaney Porter

 

Practice Makes Perfect

Lastly and most importantly, PRACTICE! Humans naturally get flustered when put on the spot. If you’re the kind of person who gets nervous when under pressure, make sure you practice what you want to say! Without making it sound rehearsed, you can run through what you’d like to say a few times to feel more confident while still speaking from the heart. Use a mirror if you have to, but it’s always nice to have some feedback from a real human. 

 

The most important thing, obviously, is that you love her and you want to ask her to spend her life with you. As long as that’s the main focus of the proposal, not the pictures or the wording or the backdrop, it will absolutely be something you two both remember for the rest of your lives. It’s the moment you’ll tell your kids about, the moment you’ll share with your friends and family when you tell them the good news, the moment the two of you start to become one. It’s the perfect moment, and it will be perfect because it’s yours together. 

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Jake and Becca Perrault